The 4th Stage Framework

I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day. We were talking about relationships and how The 4th Stage concept is used to define and understand the process of establishing a male/female romantic relationship. My friend, who happens to be a female, said, “You know, relationships don’t always fit neatly into your 4th Stage box. I know couples who don’t fit the 4th Stage mold. Besides, you are being too technical and way overthinking this.” Hmm…

In one respect, she’s correct. There are exceptions – but they are rare. The obvious one is an “arranged marriage” where the man and woman do not even see each other until the day they are married. And I’m sure there are others, but it really doesn’t matter. The truth is, every romantic relationship goes through the same process.

I asked her to give me an example of a relationship she believed was the exception.

“I know a couple who were long-time friends before they became a couple,” she said.

I asked, “So they just went from being friends to being a couple?”

“That’s right,” she said.

“No flirting, or kissing before they…?” I asked.

“Well of course they went through the usual things people do when they are attracted to each other,” she said.

“Usual things people do – like flirting, kissing, sex?” I asked – knowing her response would be a frustrated, “YES!”

I didn’t push her for an attempt at another example, but I realized The 4th Stage Framework is valid in virtually every scenario. Each stage is unique to the individuals involved; and while there is no set time frame for one or all stages, the sequence remains consistent. For example, Stage 3 may happen the first time you meet someone, but I guarantee, Stage 1 & 2 come before 3. Think about it…

As for being too technical and way overthinking this? I’m a guy! This is what we do! We think deliberately about almost everything. We design, plan and build things. We strategize and break things down into useful components. And we develop tools that enable us to succeed at any endeavor we choose. So why not relationships?

The 4th Stage concept was designed to provide a framework for understanding the relationship process. It’s a useful tool. Use it to derive maximum benefit from your 4th Stage.

Life is too short to NOT be happy!

Chazz

Learn more – The 4th Stage Mindset